Monday, May 6, 2013

I'm a crappy mom

I write a lot about how I'm trying to raise both of my kids properly. But you know, I leave out a lot. I wrote a couple of times about how I hate housework and make my kids do chores. I wrote about being crazy and angry. However, I don't think I've wrote enough about being what I fear the most- being a craptastic parent.

We all are. No one is perfect. Some of us strive to be, but none of us hit that mark. Pinterest makes us think that everyone else, especially moms, are spending most of their times baking useless pinata cookies (what the hell are those things, anyways?), working out six times a week, all while fashioning that perfect maxi skirt- even if you don't know how to sew.  Then comes the actual parenting...

Last week, two of my friends were absolutely hammered on two different sites for posts that I found, by turns, hilarious and spot on. Lizbeth, at Four Sea Stars wrote a piece that appeared on Mamapedia about letting her kiddo watch the Big Bang Theory. To me, and to most people with some sense about them, it was poking fun at herself in what was clearly a parenting fail. We all do it! However, others didn't see it that way and the comments blew up with judgmental poison from other moms. Lexi, from Mostly True Stuff, wrote a great piece this morning about how none of us has any right to judge at all. She'll probably have some fall out from that, too. My other friend, Courtney, from A Legion for Liam, had a piece calling for soccer moms to "listen up!" and stop complaining about their problems published on BlogHer. Again, something was taken entirely out of context. BlogHer selected a rant of Courtney's and published it. Something that a mom wrote when she was feeling angsty and frustrated. Something that a lot of us, especially special needs moms go through. It's not wrong to feel that way! However, other moms tore Courtney a new one.

Both situations with both writers, to me, were incredibly sad. Not for what they wrote, but for how people responded. It's something that I see constantly, both online and off. When the hell did people, especially moms, get to be so perfect? Is this a direct result from having to Facebook your life? Instagramming the perfect moments?

In the spirit of imperfection, I'm laying some things out there: I'm completely imperfect. I'm never going to change. I've tried. A lot of times. However, since I'm turning 31 this year and I'm pretty resistant to change, it doesn't seem likely that I'm getting with the program of perfect parenting anytime soon. Here's a small sampling of crap I've done:
  • I allow my NT kid to drink coffee. I'm 5'10... it didn't stunt my growth.
  • I'm totally guilty of rewashing the same load of clothes multiple times because I'm too lazy to remember to switch it over. Also, I hate the process of folding and putting away laundry.
  • I let Morgan play with plastic bags when he was a toddler. 
  • I've told my kids to not eat out of the trash because "that's what homeless people do." <don't shoot me, please?>
  • As I've stated before, I lock myself into my bathroom to get peace and quiet. This is not a bad thing.
  • My house stays messy unless people come over. And even then...
  • I've told my kid he has a fever to avoid having to go anywhere. Hey, I was tired.
  • Sometimes I put people on speak phone and walk away. They don't know the difference.
  • I was once so sleep deprived with one of the kids, that I put a clean diaper over the wet one. And passed out asleep on the floor. Granted, that was an accidental fail. Still funny.
  • Morgan, a couple of weeks ago, handed me a wine glass when he was unloading the dishwasher and said, "These are you're cups!" Yeah, I was proud. <sarcasm>
  • I've told my children to watch out the window for Dora, Thomas, Diego, and also handy Manny in order to get things done. This only works when they're really young.
  • When my kids fall down, in order to prevent them from screaming bloody murder, I tell them, "no blood, no foul!" It's something I picked up from my assistant coach at soccer. Thanks, Paul!
  • When their dad has gone out of town in the past, I've been guilty of lying about the time in order to put them to bed early. This no longer works.
  • I allow movies to go on a continuous loop- for hours - so that I can get things done. You've done it, too.
 So, feel free to post your parenting fails, or personal fails on my Facebook page. I'm proclaiming today to be Imperfect Parenting Day. We all have our moments. Just like we all poop. For those that want to claim otherwise, get over yourselves.


  1. idk - i mean, i don't really have anything to add to this, since i am *perfect*... because my kids have absolutely never peed in the yard, ran down the street hand in hand completely naked when they were toddlers OR been babysat by minecraft.

    see? perfect.