Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love & the Aspie First Grader

Morgan had his first real Valentine's day, I think. It was great, for me because it's been a hallmark in a way. Morgan and I had our first real, stretched out day of conversations. Real, reciprocal conversations. It took a lot of effort, but some things clicked into place and it just worked.. and today, when he got his cards back, it was even better.

 It was the first time I picked out the type of cards that I knew he'd like - that had appropriate sayings that he would "get," for the most part. We sat down with a list of the children in his homeroom and suddenly, Morgan talked. He would see the name, repeat it and tell me all these funny little quips as he decided if a boy was a "U R Awesome!" or "Cool" (just a note, Morgan refused to hand out most of the "U Rock" cards because that made zero sense "A person can't be a rock, Mom, that's weird"). Every girl had to be either a "Be Mine" or a "U R Sweet" and the color coding meant something to him as he told me what was special about each one. Scientists say that Aspies/autistics aren't supposed to always notice the world around them, but I beg to differ with my exhibit A, Morgan.

He's never told me any of this stuff before because unless I ask a direct question, he cannot give me a direct answer. Like in the car today when I asked if handing out cards had been crazy, Morgan piped up "yep, but I did really well! I didn't mess up once, Mommy, I was a good boy and no one got the wrong card!" I didn't know that he'd been nervous about messing up because I hadn't thought to ask. Morgan wouldn't think to tell me.

He made sure to include his homeroom teacher in his cards, his vice principal, his resource teacher, his brother, his daddy, and me- all unprompted. Maybe it's because he's seen me make out cards so many times, but how else did he know to do this? I love getting a card, not picked out by his dad, addressed by Morgan and signed by Morgan because he at least knows it's what's supposed to happen on this day. He's picked up a social cue but at the same time, Morgan's always been one of the sweetest kids I've known- period.

The funniest moments in all of this? Morgan's spots of pure lack of filtration. On Saturday, he and I went grocery shopping together- a rare event. Morgan saw a child misbehaving horribly and the mom was saying, "I'll beat your butt when we get home!" Morgan being Morgan pipes up, "just do it already! Mom, that baby's a brat!" We would be walking down an aisle and he'd just be chattering away about whatever was catching his eye... We're working on that inner voice thing...

A little girl in his class gave him a sweet, hand drawn Valentine- with Thomas the Tank engine on it! She's his friend, obviously knows his love of the blue terror of the rails and my son tells me when, when I ask him what he said to thank her, that he told her she had "left off the coal car on accident." ugh... I'm hoping this girl just smiled like Morgan said she did.. we had to have another talk about that inner voice thing. Dating's going to be hell, I can tell.

Oh. and Morgan announcing to me that God, does indeed find him special. Yep, it's true because the Valentine Card that J- gave him says so. And that card has bunnies and a kitty, all curled up to show diversity, I'm guessing. Best card ever.