Monday, December 5, 2011

Just not getting him

I'm just.... not. I overthink things and don't think like him. I crawl people's asses for not taking Morgan into consideration when I don't even think that I do. I get upset for other people raising their voices and scaring him and yet, when I'm stressed out, I yell. He's had two meltdowns that were awful in the past few days and I know that those managed to put a bigger wedge between us. Morgan's asking his daddy to pick him up from school (Thomas takes him, I pick him up) and then do homework with him.

What am I doing wrong? I push Morgan because if I didn't, he'd sit in front of Thomas the Tank engine or play Angry Birds until bedtime. Does that make me a bad mom? I cuddle with him, but I'm not going to let him hug me repeatedly when I'm explaining something- that's his way of tuning me out. I reinforce good manners, should I not? Right now, his face is horribly red and chapped from a stim that he's had going since October. He licks his face.. and licks and licks and licks. His father told him that he looks like he's been burned. Morgan's gotten teased for it, but won't let me put cream on it. So when I do, he screams, cries, throws a fit. He actually told a store manager in Old Navy on Friday that I beat him and could someone please call the cops? What the HELL? This was after a GREAT day. On Saturday night (after another GREAT day- he even went to a birthday party of a girl he just adores), same deal with the cream. Only this time, he told me I never do anything for him ever. Gee, thanks kid! I get he doesn't have a way to process the behind the scenes stuff, but my Lord, it's like having a teenager in the house sometimes.

I feel like my son is punishing me for doing all of the right things by him. I know it's ridiculous- he's seven for Christsake. But this child... it's like I don't know him sometimes and that scares the hell out of me. I was told to repair my relationship with Morgan last night. I didn't even know it was broken....

 From the ballet on Friday... The first picture shows Morgan's face chapping, unretouched. The second I retouched. He was pretty excited, especially since his Mommy was his "date" for the day :)