Thursday, July 11, 2013

Know your tribe

The storms in our home have swelled like monsoons, poured themselves out, gained strength again, ebbed, flowed, and now, finally, seem to be abating.

Yesterday, last night really, was rough. Without specifics, it was just... hell. As a parent, I tried my best to comfort my child and eventually, what I was doing worked.

But I was spent. Tapped out. Stressed out. I needed a tribe member or several.
Pin this.

I'm supposing most NT moms have their own "tribe," that group of people (other moms?) who they can call on for help and support. Well, I don't exactly have that, or haven't had it until recently. But God, since I've discovered it, I've realized just how important it is to have that network of supportive people who get it.

Stopping right here... If you are on Facebook, get a tribe of people who get you. If it's a big support-type network and you're comfortable with that, fine. If you need something smaller and more local, start something. I belong to some great groups filled with people I've never met and also a couple of groups that are local. We have Autism in common.  We have special needs in common. We support each other when shit hits the fan and cheer like mad when a milestone, big or small, is achieved. We're all picking up some of the slack virtually where IRL (in real life) family isn't there to do it, or doesn't want to have any part of it. Same goes for IRL "friends" who dropped off the planet after that first Mach 10 meltdown.

We get it. 

As for the other side of my tribe, I've been  lucky enough, since moving to Louisiana, to make fast friends with a neighbor of mine, Sherie. She actually lives on top of me. Her two kids are similar in age to my two boys. The kids play well. Her youngest, a boy, has some sensory and attention issues. She and I get each other and our sons' histories of meltdowns, children not wanting to play with them, and stranger's mean looks. We've each been through IEP meetings and have perfected our "f*** off" faces. We're tribe members. Doesn't hurt that I think she's pretty hilarious and swears more than me.

Last night, after I put the kids to sleep, I texted her something like 14 messages in maybe two minutes, each one an escalation of tension and hilarity. I was losing it. She told me to come up. We laughed over the mess my week had been because if you can't laugh, yell, and curse, you'll lose it. She's definitely in my tribe.

I have some other tribe members, we're kind of a scattered bunch from my end. I'm horrible about keeping in touch with my local bunch. And, I'm new here. So, I'm kind of shy about inserting myself into an established group of terrific (seriously, I haven't met a mean mom in this group yet) and involved women.

I woke up with some trepidation this morning. Morgan was calm, but still super stimmy. Super scripter in full force. I put on my gym clothes... took him to school. Took Bay to the gym with me. Tuned out the world and my problems for a while.

I was feeling a off. Just... not quite right. Like I need to run (hahaha! right?) or write or do something to crowd all all my fears and doubts which were stabbing my brain.

I turned around to clean off my elliptical and there, right behind me, was another member of my tribe. Funny, isn't it? Sometimes we pop up just when we need to touch base or talk to each other, I think.

I hope you're able to find your tribe.

No comments :

Post a Comment